The Way of Perfection · 17 of 46

Chapter 17: She shows how all souls are not fit for contemplation, etc

I AM now about to enter on the subject of prayer; but I must first say something of great importance to you. It is concerning humility, which is so extremely necessary in this house, because it is the principal exercise of prayer; and as I have said, it is very important that you endeavour to understand how to exercise yourselves well in humility: this is very important, and very necessary for all those who give themselves to prayer. How can one who is truly humble, imagine himself to be already as good as those who have become "contemplatives?" God can indeed, by His goodness and mercy, make one to be such; but let him take my advice, and always sit in the lowest place, since our Lord has told us to do so, and has taught us it by his practice. If God wishes to lead any one this way, let her dispose herself for Him; if not, humility serves instead, while she considers herself happy in serving the handmaids of our Lord; and she praises Him, because though she deserved to be a slave to the devils in hell, His majesty has placed her among His servants.

I speak this not without great reason; for (as I have said) it is very important to understand, that God does not conduct all in the same way; and perhaps she who thinks herself the lowest, is the highest in the eyes of God. Hence, because all in this house give themselves to prayer, it does not follow that all must be contemplatives: this is impossible, and it will be a great consolation for her who is not a "contemplative" to know this truth, for God only gives this gift; and since it is not necessary for salvation, nor required for our future reward, let her not think that it is here demanded of her, because without this she is sure to become very perfect, if she does what has been said. It may even be, that she has much more merit, because it costs her more pains; and our Lord treats her as a valiant person, and keeps in reserve for her all that which she does not enjoy here. Let her not therefore be discouraged, nor omit her prayer, or neglect to do what all the rest do; for sometimes our Lord comes very late, and pays one as well and as much together, as He has been giving to others during many years. I was more than fourteen years, during which I could never use even meditation, unless joined with reading. There will be many persons of this kind, and others also, who although they make use of reading, yet cannot practise meditation, but only pray vocally, because that is a little hinderance to them. There are imaginations so volatile, that they cannot remain on one thing, but are always uneasy; and this to such a degree, that should they strive to keep their thoughts on God, they run into a thousand absurdities, scruples, and doubts.

I know a very old person, who has led an exceedingly good life, (God grant mine may be like hers), and has been given to penance, and is moreover a great servant of God, having spent many hours and years in vocal prayer, but mental she could not use: the most she could do, was to continue a short time in her vocal prayers. There are many other persons of this kind, who if they have humility, will not I believe be anything worse in the end; but they will share equally with those who enjoy many consolations, and they will have even more security in some respect, because we know not whether these consolations be from God or from the devil; if they come not from God, there is more danger, because what the devil strives at most here, is to excite them to pride; but if they be from God, there is no reason to fear, because they carry humility along with them, as I have shown at some length in another book.

Those others who receive no consolations proceed with humility, fearing lest it might be through their own fault, being always anxious to go forward: they do not see others weep, but except they do the same, they imagine they are far behind in the service of God, and yet they are perhaps much more forward, since all heads are not perfect, though they be good. There is always more security in humility, mortification, abnegation and other virtues; there is no reason to fear or doubt; you will not fail to attain perfection, as well as become great contemplatives. Martha was a saint, though she is not said to be a contemplative. Now, what do you desire more, than to be able to resemble this Blessed woman, who deserved so often to entertain Christ our Lord in her House? Had she been like Blessed Magdalen – always absorpt – there would have been no one to provide food for the Divine Guest. Imagine then that this community is the House of St. Martha, which must have something of everything; and let not those who have been led along the "active way" envy those who are engulfed in contemplation, since they know our Lord will undertake their defence, though He may be for the most part silent, in order to make them careful both of themselves and of all things. Let them remember, there must be some to dress His meat, and let them account themselves happy to serve with Martha. Let them remember, that true humility chiefly consists in being very ready to be contented with whatever our Lord shall be pleased to do with them; and let them always consider themselves unworthy to be called His servants.

If then to make use of contemplation, mental and vocal prayer; attending the sick, serving in the house, and working even in the meanest offices, – if all this be not waiting ont his Guest, who comes to stay, and to eat, and to refresh Himself with us, is it not important for us to serve Him in one way, rather than in another?

I do not say, however, that it is in your power to arrive at contemplation, but that you should use all your exertions to attain it; for this does not consist in your choice, but in our Lord's: and if after many years, trial, He should wish each one to serve in her particular office, will it not be a pretty kind of humility to desire to make your own choice? Let the master of the house do what he pleases; He is wise and powerful; He understands what is best for you, and best for himself also. Be assured, that if you do what lies in you, and dispose yourselves for contemplation with the perfection mentioned before, even should he not bestow it upon you (though I believe He will not fail to give it to you, if you have true mortification and humility), be assured that he reserves this favour for you, to give it to you altogether in heaven: and as I have said elsewhere, He intends to lead you on like valiant persons, giving you in this world a cross to carry, just as His Majesty carried one. And what stronger proof of friendship can we have, than to choose for you what he chose for Himself? Perhaps you would not have so great a reward in contemplation. These are His judgments, and we must not dive into them. It is a great blessing that we are not at liberty to do this; for thinking there would be more repose in contemplation, we should all be great contemplatives. O! immense gain, not to desire any gain by your own choice, through fear of some loss! God never allows any one, who is truly mortified, to sustain any loss, except it be for his greater gain.