The Way of Perfection · 6 of 46

Chapter 6: She returns to her discourse on perfect love

I HAVE made a long digression; but what I have said is of such consequence, that whoever understands it will not blame me. Let us now return to that love which is good and lawful for us to have. Respecting that which I call purely spiritual, I know not whether I understand what I say; at least, it seems to me needless to speak much of it, for I fear but few possess it: let those to whom our Lord has given it praise Him exceedingly. I wish, however, to say something about it; perhaps it may do some good, for by placing virtue before our eyes, he that desires it, and endeavours to obtain it, becomes enamoured of it. God grant I may be able to understand it, and yet more to explain it, for I hardly know what “spiritual love” is, nor when sensual is mixed with it, nor do I know how to begin to speak of it. I am like one who hears words spoken at a great distance off, and who understands not what is said; for it is certain that sometimes I do not understand well what I say, and yet our Lord is pleased it shall be well said: if at other times I speak nonsense, it is only natural to me; in nothing am I correct.

It now seems to me, that when God brings a person to understand clearly what the world is; that there is another world, and what the difference is between one and the other; that the one is eternal, and the other a mere dream; what it is to love the Creator, and not the creature”, (this is seen by experience, which is entirely another matter, from only thinking and believing it); and to see and to try what is gained by the one, and what is lost by the other, and what the Creator is, and what the creature is, together with many other things which our Lord truly and clearly teaches him who desires to be instructed by Him in prayer, and whom His Majesty is pleased to teach in this way; it seems, I say, that such persons love in a manner different from those who have not got so far.

You may, sisters, think it useless to insist on these points; and you may say: “We all know the things you have mentioned.” God grant it may be so – that you may know them in a way which may be useful, and that you may imprint them deeply on your heart. If you know them, you will see that I do not lie in saying, that he whom our Lord conducts so far has this love. Those whom God raises to this state are noble – royal souls. They are not content with loving such vile objects as our bodies are, whatever beauty or gifts they may have; the sight thereof may please them, and they praise the Creator for it; but they do not rest there. I mean, they do not dwell upon them in such a way as to be affected towards them; for this they would consider to be loving a thing without substance, and embracing a shadow; and this would make them so ashamed of themselves, that they would not have the face, without being exceedingly ashamed, to tell God that they love Him.

You will reply: – “Such persons as these know not, either how to desire, or to requite the love which is shown them. “I answer, at least they have little regard for others’ love; and though sometimes nature suddenly makes them feel delighted in being loved, yet when they return to themselves again, they see it is foolishness, except they be persons who may do good to their souls by their learning or prayers. Not that they cease to be thankful to such persons, and to requite them, by recommending them to God: but they consider our Lord to be the Person most concerned among those who love them, for they know the love comes from Him. As they find in themselves nothing deserving of love, they immediately think others love them because God loves them, and they leave the payment to His Majesty, beseeching Him to discharge it, and thereby they are in a manner acquitted of the obligation. Considering the matter attentively, I sometimes think what great blindness it is to desire others should love us, except they be persons who (as I have said) might be of use to us in acquiring solid goods.

Now observe, that as in desiring any one’s love, we always have some interest or advantage in view, or pleasure to ourselves; so these perfect souls have already under their feet all the goods which the world can bestow upon them – all its delights – all its pleasures: and they are so disposed, that though they wished (so to speak), yet they cannot find pleasure in anything but God, and in discoursing of God. They cannot find what benefit they can derive from being loved, and so they care not for it. When they behold this truth lively represented to them, they laugh at themselves for the trouble it has sometimes caused them, to know whether their affections were appreciated or no; for though the love be good, it is very natural to desire to be requited. But when payment is made, it is made in straws: everything is empty air, and without substance, which the wind blows away. Granting that we are greatly beloved, what do we gain thereby? Hence, these persons no more care for being loved than not loved, except by the persons I have mentioned above – for the good of their souls, and because they see our nature to be such, that if there be no love, it presently gets weary. You may think that such as these neither know how, nor can love any one but God. Yes! they love more, and with a truer, more profitable, and more ardent affection; in a word, theirs only is true love. And such souls are always much more willing to give than to receive, and this even to the Creator Himself. This, I repeat, deserves the name of love; for those other mean affections have but usurped this name.

We may also ask, “If these persons do not love the things they see, what do they love?” It is true, they love what they see, and are taken with what they hear: but the things which they see are permanent; if such persons love, they quickly look beyond the body, and fix their eyes on souls; observing whether there be anything worth loving, and if not, they see some beginning or disposition thereto, that so in digging the mine they may at last find gold: if they love souls, the labour of digging does not trouble them; nothing presents itself to them, which they would not willingly do for the love of that soul; because they desire to continue to love it: but they know well this is impossible, except that soul have virtues, and love God much. I say “impossible,” though the person showed so many favours to such a soul, and even die for love of it, and perform for it every possible good office, and were possessed of every natural endowment; yet the will cannot acquire strength enough to love such an one, nor can this love be made to continue firm. Such an one now understands and knows by experience what all things are, without being cheated: he sees their judgments do not agree, and that it is impossible they should always continue to love one another, for it is a love which must end with life, if the other do not observe the Law of God, and he knows he does not love Him, and that they must part and go different ways. And this love (which lasts only here in this world) a soul, into which God has infused true wisdom, values not above its worth, nay, even under it; since among those who delight to take pleasure in the things of this world – viz., pleasures, honours, and riches, – it may pass for something, if one be rich, or have opportunities to enjoy some recreation with him; but whoever detests all this, regards the other as little or nothing. If therefore such have any love, it is an affection to cause this soul to love God, that so she may be loved by them; (because, as I said, they know if they love in any other manner, it will not last, and that such love costs them very dearly) – they neglect not to do all they can to benefit it, and would lose a thousand lives to do it the least good. O! precious love, which imitates Jesus, the Captain of love, and our highest good.